The Steamboat

Christmas was grand, and we were excited for a new year and what it would bring: an upcoming first full year of marriage, a celebration of our full independence as a married couple and new family, continued health, and relative prosperity.
Then this thing showed up-



So we went to the doctor and after several days full of doctor visits, doctor calls, pokes and prods, ultrasounds, CT scans, and nobody really wanting to say what was wrong with me, I started to get a nasty nagging suspicion. Then came the word, you know, the one you wish you'll never hear in reference to your health care. The word so saturated with toxin your muscles grow weak and your mind numbs as it registers in your brain. The word that has stopped my life twice with unforgettable moments of...plain, absolute stillness. I'm not talking about, "cancer", doctors don't even like to say that word. I'm talking about, "chemotherapy". My doctor told me that no matter the results of my biopsy I would most likely need chemotherapy to remedy the monstrosity that had grown in my neck. That just made me sick. Having seen the effects of chemotherapy after watching my mama fight cancer 5 years ago, I new exactly what kind of beast chemotherapy can be.

Still, we prayed and hoped and waited for the biopsy results.

WARNING: if sick, nasty pictures of surgical wounds make your bummy tingle, I wouldn't look at the following pictures that were taken after the biopsy (the second one especially...it even makes my bummy tingle. Why didn't anyone tell me I look like that when I sleep?!).



I slept and slept for days after the biopsy, and awoke feeling a strong sense of peace. I no longer felt like cancer would be a nightmare, just another aspect of life that, while scary, would teach me to adapt and grow. On January 13, I was officially diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Stage 2B. The following week, I met with my oncologist, Dr. Steven Wallentine, and on January 27, I began chemotherapy.

So Jeff and I keep on keeping on. I feel like this era in our lives is like a steamboat, slowly chugging and churning away from life as we both know it. Each day takes us further from the known, but brings us to a new knowledge of life and love and joy. I strongly believe that we are able to not only make it through each day, but find joy daily, because of our faith in God and His power to heal and help us. I also know that I could never have felt so much peace and strength if I did not have a literal army of people praying for me and/or thinking of me each and every day. I truly feel their strength and love strengthening and uplifting me daily.