This year, the month of the July mirrors January exactly. All week long I've been reliving the events of Sawyer's birth, taking it day by day and remembering where we were and what we were doing; checking the clock to savor exact moments in time. It culminated this morning as I held my big baby at 6:50 am and welcomed him to the world all over again.
We aren't going to the doctor until next week so no 6 month stats for now. Instead I'll leave you with an excerpt from Sawyer's birth story that I wrote in his journal. You'll find us here at the hospital, 9pm at night, in the 13th hour of labor, dilated to 7cm and just having decided that an epidural was the best way to preserve our family experience. We were settling in for the long night ahead.
"Our watching and waiting game began Dad slept, but I lay in bed watching the changing screens of the monitors and thinking. And waiting. And longing. And yearning. I was much too excited to sleep- you were coming! We were only hours away from holding you! I kept reviewing the events of the past 24 hours and I was amazed at how far I'd come and how well things had gone. In the dim light, I also prayed. I think I prayed for you and dreamed of you the whole 7 hours until 4:30 am arrived and then it was time to start pushing.
By this time, I just couldn't wait much longer to see you and I determined I would hold you soon. I consider pushing you into the world one of my most gratifying and highest achievements. I owned that process. It was my responsibility to bring you into life and into our world, and I was ready and accepting of the challenge. So push I did and with such exertion that I threw up 5 times (!) from the sheer effort- but I never missed a beat. No push count slipped by me. I threw up, then kept going harder each time.
At 6:50 am you were born, my beautiful baby boy with red-tinged hair, long fingers and toes, and my eyes (I hope you don't mind them!). Almost everything else belongs to your daddy, but the windows to your soul are mine, and I'd like to think that's because we are soul friends. You make me stronger-I have never felt so happy and complete as when I held you for the first time-and I hope that throughout your life I can return the favor. I hope I can make you strong, and then stronger too.
Welcome to our family, lucky boy."
I absolutely LOVE your journal entry. Seriously, I'm tearing up. It reminds me so much of my own experience, waiting while everyone else was sleeping, pushing so hard I made myself sick, pushing for over 2 hours (go us) and then forgetting all of it because I was so happy to see my baby. Sawyer is a lucky boy!
ReplyDeleteoh rach this is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing. Sawyer will forever be the best surprise! I have been sneaking into lincoln's room the past couple of weeks and just looking at him, and wondering when my little baby grew into a little boy. It takes me back to the days I spent walking the halls of the hospital and everything I had endured and all of the beautiful moments maybe my favorite of all was when I saw baby lincoln for the first time and i saw this little look in his eye like "oh hey there mom!" we love our little ginger!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing better than a having a child who you know is your soul friend. I should know :)
ReplyDelete