Five Whole Years

I know this is an anniversary, and not Valentine's Day post, but waaaay back in February I gave my forever Valentine a little gift, just The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. This was perfect present (if I do say so myself) because Jeff has hobbit feet and I try to never miss an opportunity to remind him of that, and because our five years together have been everything but what we expected.  I told him as much, and also mentioned that even though we've had good and bad surprises, I know that I'm exactly where I want to be, and more importantly, I'm where I chose- and continuously choose -to be.

I place many immeasurable values in that choice, not the least of which if the very power to choose. This appreciation of agency grew strong at a young age.  In my Gram's house, in the upstairs hallway bathroom, a quote was stuck to the mirror for as long as I can remember.  I must have spent a lot of time in there reading it, because the words on that little yellowed slip of paper are forever furrowed in my mind:  

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our power to do has increased."

To be honest, when Jeff first told me he loved me, I wasn't quite sure if I loved him back.  I had never loved anyone outside of my family or friends, and I hadn't wanted to, either.  So I didn't say anything for awhile until finally I realized that love is choice, and I had the power to chose to love Jeff or not love him.  So I chose to love him.  And the next day, I chose again to love him. And on the third day, my moxie fell and I wasn't so sure about that love thing, but luckily I got my nerve back and decided again, that yes, I loved and would continue to love Jeff.  

It's now been (more than) five whole years of making that simple choice: to love.  It was very much  a conscious effort at first- and on some days sprinkled throughout the years as well- but I've found that, true to the quote residing in the third story bathroom at Gram's, it has become easier and easier to do, and my ability and capacity to love have increased. 

While I can't say where all that unexpected stuff pops in from, I know that the wonderful, secure, love-filled state of our relationship is a result of what we've chosen.

...In spite of all the unexpected... 

And now, some pics from our anniversary date! Elouise can't stand to live without me these days so while Sawyer got a trip to his grandparent's house, Ello joined us for dinner.  She got to hear all of our reminiscing and sit our laps while we noshed on the goodness of the Freight House in Stillwater, MN. Apparently, sitting wasn't good enough and she wriggled and reached with a burning desire to eat fried cheese curds.